I ran across a post on Mastodon referring to this article: https://www.ohfweekly.org/the-right-way-for-white-people/, and it had this bullet point in it:

«If you witness white folks doing problematic things, speak up with compassion to take the burden off Black folks and our siblings of color whenever appropriate. Seek to engage rather than escalate, so that it can be a learning moment rather than a disruption.»

I had a thought / was reminded of a thought I had some time ago.

I’m thinking it is the job of white people in the (global) West to do two things: (1) educate ourselves, to the best of our ability, and (2) educate each other, again, to the best of our abilities.

I had the privilege of travelling with a multi-racial group to Selma, Alabama, for the occasion of the 60th anniversary of the Selma bridge crossing. Part of our sojourn included a visit to the Equal Justice Initiative Lynching Memorial, https://legacysites.eji.org/about/memorial/.

When you enter the Memorial, you are admonished to show respect, similarly to how the referenced blog post admonishes us to show respect. Several of us (Black and white) peeled off to walk the grounds in solitude. A group of us (Black, as I recall) walked the grounds together. They had some youths among them, but the group as a whole (and they were not the only such group I saw that day) was basically clowning around, pretty much in apparent contravention of the preceding admonishment. (Listen to me, with my polysyllabic words.) At the time, it seemed to me to be basically disrespectful, and evidence that nothing was being learned.

I overheard a couple who appeared to be Asian, speaking to one another about the disrespect and loudness of the Black groups, a sentiment I agreed with at the time. I know nothing about them. They had no accent, and they had that easy American judgmental air, so I’m going to assume they are as American as I am. And that they had come to the Memorial with the same good intentions as I did.

But later, I was thinking. It’s a somber place, with the hanging markers. I imagine those markers both convey threat and engender anger (“rage” might be a better word), for Black visitors. In the context, Black joy might be an appropriate response. Rejection of threat. Celebration of the strength of the group. Possibly a more healthy response than rage. (I don’t know; I’m not Black. Rage is certainly justified and appropriate.) And also: who am I to assume that no learning is occurring? Humans are capable of doing more than one thing at once.

So, this constitutes a missed opportunity on my part (yet another, in a long line), for multiple reasons. (1) I hadn’t formed these thoughts at the time. (It’s worth pointing out that I might not have, were it not for this experience.) And (2) even if I had, would I have spoken to that couple? Sufficiently gently and diplomatically? (Honey versus vinegar.)

Well, I can always write a blog post. To the set of white people (including -adjacent, honorary, or otherwise) who read this blog post and find themselves at a place of Black remembrance and who see something similar (I’m guessing the cardinality of that set is just about zero, but you never know): when you see this behavior, consider chilling out. Many responses are legitimate.